


what i've been living for

by hanzios



Series: mackson missing scenes [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanzios/pseuds/hanzios
Summary: In the battle for Shadow Valley, Miller draws strength from Jackson.
Relationships: Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller
Series: mackson missing scenes [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026889
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	what i've been living for

_i surrender who i've been  
for who you are_ __  
nothing makes me stronger  
than your fragile heart

**_–turning page by sleeping at last_ **

+

_“Come back to me.”_

When he blinks, boots trekking through the sandy desert, it’s an image of Jackson appearing behind his eyelids. He’s holding him in his large hands, brown, pleading eyes piercing through Miller’s skull. He feels the softness of Jackson’s lips on his, the way his fingers curl on Miller’s scratchy jaw as he whispers those words on his mouth.

They’d shared a long kiss before Miller marched on to the last war they’ll ever have to fight.

Something awful in Miller’s gut tells him that kiss might be their last.

He swallows down the fear bubbling in his chest as their army trudges closer to another battle. There is no room for _fear_ when they’re almost at the horizon, hearts set on victory. He falls out of step from Blodreina and Bellamy, the two seeming to be in a tense discussion. It’s odd seeing them side by side like this after six years, most especially since Bellamy had poisoned his sister just a few days ago.

Their conversation soon dies, Miller’s interest with it.

His mind, like reflex, drifts to Jackson once again.

Jackson, with his kind eyes and tender hands. Jackson, who laughs the hardest at Miller’s tasteless jokes. Jackson, who has been there through his best; who has been there through his worst. Jackson, who holds his hands – bruised and bloodied – and reminds him that he’s still _good._

Miller wonders if he’d still be alive if it weren’t for Jackson.

Maybe he’d have died in the bunker, either by a sharp dagger or pits of depression.

All of a sudden, Miller is taken out of his trance, a shower of bullets raining upon them. He can’t hear anything else except for the rattling guns and bodies thudding to the ground beside him. There are opposing orders fighting against each other – Blodreina’s _“Attack!”_ and Brell’s _“Fall back!”_ Always the dutiful soldier, Miller’s hand flies to the trigger of his own gun, pressing hard as he seeks for cover.

_Come back to me._

Miller’s feet take quick steps back, hiding behind limp, dead bodies and boulders in the middle of the battlefield. Amidst the deadly crossfire, he loses sight of Blodreina. Dread consumes him as his eyes scan the terrain. The land in front of him is littered with their losses, its ground soaked with deep red blood.

They were sent into a massacre.

His people are being slaughtered right in front of his very eyes, and he can only do so much to stop it.

His heart quickens as he continues to pull back, dodging bullets as best he could as he follows his own steps up the edge of the field. When he finds a wounded soldier bleeding profusely at the enemy’s line of sight, it doesn’t take long for Miller to spring into action, grabbing the man and hauling him to his shoulders.

Miller feels a sharp, searing pain on his side as he retreats, running as quick as he could down the horizon. He closes his eyes and draws strength from Jackson’s gentle voice on the back of his head, an oasis in the corner of Miller’s mind as he leaves the awful carnage behind him.

_Come back to me._

Miller has always promised people he’d die for them – for his friends, for his people, for Blodreina. He has been asked to die for the sake of the many ever since he was sent to this earth. It’s all he’s ever known, and he has never once questioned it. Not until Jackson’s skin first met his, all those years ago, electricity coursing through his veins as their lips touched for the first time in that cold Azgeda prison cell.

Jackson had asked him to live. He reminded him to _live._

As Miller runs for his life, trying to save what’s left of his army, it’s not his duty that fuels his aching feet to continue running. When he closes his eyes, it’s Jackson in front of him – tired and weary but _him_ all the same.

He loves him. He’ll live for him.

_I’ll come back to you, Jax. I promise._


End file.
